Archive for the ‘The Farmer is a Girl’ Category

So usually I write in the third person but I am finding that difficult.  It is difficult to express my true feelings when I am using the farmer this and the farmer that.  So you all get it….I, me, the woman, is the farmer.  I AM the driving force behind this journey we are on.  I am also very thankful for the FH (Farmer’s Husband).  He is a handy man, he is an intelligent man, he is a resourceful man and he is a brave man.  Two of those traits will be depicted in this post.   You can choose which two….Here on Butting Heads Farm we are expecting babies. Goat babies from four does.  That is a lot of babies and if you are new to the birthing scene it is scary as hell.  Okay, so as a woman I have been there, done that.  Had three bucks of my own, big ‘uns, too.  But I have never, never, never seen anything being born.  So being part of the nether end of the process is scary as HELL.  This is where FH comes in.  He has been there.  No, I am not talking about the births of his bucks. Although, he was there for that…, he worked on a farm for many years and has seen many a calf born.  Phew, someone with some experience on the other end.  Three of the girls are due within the next ten days.  The baby monitor is in the bedroom set to the loudest setting.  That way I can hear a mouse fart and run to the barn thinking it is a doe in labor.

Sooo, around 2:30 this morning I hear a loud keening sound. It was loud, I thought it was coming over the monitor.   Well, maybe it was not quite a keening sound as a yip.  See I want every sound to be a keening sound.  Keening sounds lead to goat babies.  Anyway, I ran to the window and listened.  Damn, that is a fox.  I yelled, “Hey!!” in my most intimidating voice and the fox, the sassy little shit, yipped back.  I ran down the stairs, grabbed a flashlight, put on my boots and headed out the door.  As I was running down the walk, a buck naked, somewhat overweight man ran past me barking like a dog.   The naked man runs across the road down the driveway, the motion sensor light on the barn kicks on….there in full glory is the FH barking like a dog.  The barking is supposed to chase off a fox.  Honestly, I do not think fox are that foolish and it is truly the sight not the sound that scares them off.  Gotta love a man that will run naked through snow, in 20 degree weather to protect the goats that are his wife’s dream.  Of course, you have to laugh really, really loud first.

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Recently one morning around 2 a.m. the farmer’s husband woke the farmer; “Did you hear that?” Farmer, “Yeah, no I was sleeping.” FH, “Shhh, listen.” Farmer, “Damn!”
Somebody in the goat yard was yelling. Now mind you if that someone in the goat yard was yelling loud enough for the FH to hear it over the Farmer’s snoring, it was serious business.
The farmer lept out of bed and headed down the stairs, through the house, grabbed a flashlight that was miraculously where it was supposed to be, threw on boots and was headed out the door when behind her she heard, “Wait, what do you think you are doing going out there alone?” Farmer, “Ummm, something is wrong.” FH, “Do you remember that Don (neighbor) saw bear sh#@ on his lawn last week?” Farmer hesitated for only a heartbeat and headed out the door with FH following a few minutes later.
There was nothing to see, just the boys with their heads poking out their pasture door bleating. Surely, something woke/alerted them and they were warning the farmer. But seriously, a bear? The farmer in her heart of hearts believes that any bear, werewolf, Bigfoot, Loch Ness monster, or such would run with their tails between their legs when encountering the pink pajamed, hair on end, rubber boot wearing farmer, it is a scary sight.

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