Archive for October, 2017

My Alter Ego

For years people have asked me, “Why do you have goats?” Mind you this question started long before goats in pajamas inundated your Facebook feed.  I always replied with a simple, “Well, I like goats.”

In reality, I have loved goats since I was a child.  Well, I loved them until my dad brought one home from the auction.  His name was Billy.  Of course, it was. He was a male and  back then no one knew that a male goat is a buck and a female a doe.  They were billies and nannies. But  I digress, Billy was an asshole.  Billy was the epitome of the reason why no one thinks anyone with a brain or a new car should own a goat.  He climbed everything in sight and if he could not climb it he rammed it.  He could not climb children and he rammed us…hard.  Billy lasted two weeks and then made a trip back to the auction. Not a tear was shed.

In my twenties, my friend Rhonda had a horse and two  pygmy goats to keep it company.  Their names were Hans and Ivy.  My love was renewed.  These two were freaking adorable and friendly.

Years passed, I am try to be a sensible person and can only have things that have a purpose on this farm.  Goats give milk, we drink milk, a sensible purpose. So I convinced Rod into getting two Nigerian Dwarf goats.  But they were just kids and would need a year to be productive so I found another goat.  One in milk that we could use and the Nigerians would have time to grow.  Milk is good.  Well, not true, completely.  Our first milking goat , Matilda, gave the worst tasting milk I have ever had.  I thought it tasted like I was licking a stall floor.

 

Junie B. Jones and Amelia Bedelia as kids

So we continued to buy milk at the store, good tasting milk and gave the Nigerians time to produce.  Junie B. and  Amelia Bedelia did eventually give good tasting milk but it was such a small amount that I decided that I wanted to try another breed. A standard breed goat, a large goat. Larger goats have larger teats…easier to milk and more of it.  Matilda was sold and Olive and her kids, Skippy Jon Jones and Lilly  were purchased.

                                                                3 2013 butting heads farm Painting-9637Olive and friend

So then I had two Nigerian Dwarfs and two Nubian does to milk.  And I did not need all that milk.  And to be honest the Nigerians, the ones you all know as the goats in pajamas, are drama queens in my opinion.  They bitch  yell if they are in heat, want food or just feel like it.  The Nubians, Olive and Lilly yell when in heat and you can hear them from a mile away as they are the loudest breed of all goats but it is a deep resonate sound not a whiny bitchy sound. Drama queens and whiners suck no matter how cute they are or how much you love them.

You are right the sound of an animal should not be the deciding factor of a preference and it is not. I have had Olive for 5 years now and she is truly my hero.  She is who I want to be.  She loves her cookies after milking, I prefer mine at midnight with milk. She always believes in letting her wind blow freely from any end she chooses. She loves the smoke of a cigar, especially mine. And maybe my favorite thing about her…if she doesn’t like someone she simply slams them in the head.  I love this goat!

 

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